Pornhub Erects Times Square Billboard, Sullies John Lennon’s Most Famous Lyric

October 9th, 2014: As seen on Archive (PDF)


Pornhub is making a serious push to be king of the NSFW intranets, first with the launch of a record label and theme-song contest – yes, enterprising bands, you can be the voice of the world’s ‘Number One fee porn site’, just like Coolio – and now with a $100,000 advertising stunt in Times Square, that essentially turns John Lennon‘s most simply famous beautiful Beatles lyric “All You Need is Love” into a euphemism for going Hans Solo on Darth Vader’s head.

Of course the 54’x48′ billboard was taken down in a matter of hours, the The Guardian reporting that it had something to do with The Doubletree Hilton voicing some offensive agenda, on which the ad-space share’s a New York City block with – or you know, copyright armies – but not before the Pornhub peoples hired the damn Gotham Rock Opera to sing a rendition of “All You Need is Hand” in ceremonious Tuesday (October 7) morning glory, changing Lennon’s utopian lyrics to such lines as “nothing better to do when you’re alone” and “nothing eases the pain, but you can know it just the same if it’s not sleazy.”

All of this was created by Nuri Gulver of Istanbul, who won a contest – Pornhub likes contests – for a creative director roll, via a call for the most genius non-pornagraphic ad push, at the quickly monopolizing porn conglomerate, Gulver explaining in his submission campaign, “No one can stand in this web site without using their hands. At least they need them to access the site.” Which is pretty much the most brilliant Istanbul-English double-entrendre we’ve ever seen.

Despite this, coincidentally, or very, very purposefully, it would be Lennon’s 74th birthday today. And though we all know the man fancied himself a dreamer, and had some serious love for the world and New York City, let’s just clear the Pornhub air here and give the mic back to the Beatle on the real business of love and needs:

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